18 April 2020, 6:18 pm - In Which My Mom Makes An Appearance
Today’s post is about relationships other than the one with my partner. Today is about my relationship with my mom, and with an old friend. All three of us are watching Little Fires Everywhere on Hulu, and it is fantastic. It is a show about mothers and daughters, about birth parents and adoption, about race and privilege, and about maintaining relationships by putting out all the little fires that threaten to burn them.
My mom and I have a pretty great relationship. We do not talk daily, but I do send her snapchats nearly every day, and she responds with emojis usually. I love my mother dearly and I am so, so devastated that I don’t know when I’ll be able to see or hug her again. She, along with my dad and brothers, supported the quick marriage my partner and I had to do, even though we could not see them despite being in their town. I cannot wait to hug her again.
My old friend, KG, went to high school with me and we reconnected when I spent some time after college living with my parents. My mother taught both of us in kindergarten, and KG is now the kindergarten teacher in our hometown. KG and I bond over Grey’s Anatomy, so it was easy for us to transition to a new show now that Grey’s Anatomy is on a break.
My mother was adopted in 1961. She had me in 1993. KG had a child not too long ago. I am a strong-willed daughter who was honestly a pain to deal with in my teen years. We all have a different connection to the show. There are characters and storylines that resonate with each of us in similar ways. We spent upwards of an hour texting last night about the show. I will not get too into our conversations simply because the show is not really related to the content of the class I am writing this blog for. I want to talk about our bonding. We may not be able to see each other (I have yet to meet KG’s child), but we were able to find something to talk about other than the pandemic, or our gripes about the lack of groceries in our respective stores, or basically anything else that everyone is talking about. We spent time just talking about fictional characters and their complex storylines, and how their storylines relate to our lives as mothers and daughters. It was a mental relief for me.
Communication is especially important in maintaining relationships. Everyone has a different tolerance for the amount of communication they need/want. With the relationships with my mom and KG, we do not need constant communication. We are comfortable setting the conversation down, and returning to it a week later, after the next episode airs. Our relationships are comfortable, and I am so grateful to have them.