30 April 2020, 8:59 pm - In Which My Relationship With Food Is Discussed
I like food. I mean, who doesn’t like stuff that gives us sustenance? I like to bake #allthethings and try new recipes and come up with new meals based on what we have leftover or stashed away in the cupboards. Food is like a science experiment, and science can be fun! I love to share my baked treats and recipes and experiments. My love language is gifting, and my favorite gift to give is a treat made specifically for that person.
However, I do have sort of an odd habit with food. I eat really fast. Like, really fast. I do not know why I feel like I need to finish all of my food immediately, or why I can’t savor it, or why I feel like I should be savoring it. It is my food, and I can eat it how I want. So I feel some irrational guilt or shame about how I eat (thanks, anxiety disorder. I should rename you guilt disorder). I also have a weird habit where I don’t like to eat the last of something unless given permission. Who has to give me permission? No one! But my brain refuses to just accept that logic. Usually it is because I want someone else to have it and enjoy it. Sometimes, it is because my anxiety disorder will send me on a giant guilt trip about it. I could go down a whole rabbit hole about this thought process, but that is for my therapist, and not for the purpose of this blog.
Since we’re stuck at home, I find my relationship with food has shifted. Now, I eat slower, and I am obsessed with labeling and using up all of the leftovers, regardless if I liked the meal or not. I space my snacks out through the week, so I don’t run out of my favorite snacks too early. We are only going to the grocery store once a week, maybe every other week, and I am always worried that the foods I want or crave will not be found. My grandmother has the same habits, because she grew up in the Great Depression and lived in an area that was affected by the Dust Bowl. I wonder if what we are going through is starting to instill the same habits in me. When the shelves emptied out of bread, pasta, and most quick-eats, I did not panic. I am resourceful and can make most of those things from scratch. But when the flour disappeared, and restaurants fully closed, then my panic set in. We have enough food to survive, and the shelves are restocking, and the restaurants are reopening, but I’m always on edge because what if?
I think a lot about characters on the run and/or living in desolate, post-apocalyptic areas in The Marrow Thieves, The Hunger Games, and The Road and what food represents to them. In The Marrow Thieves, food is referred to as “precious” because of the lack of it (Dimaline 103). However, they are able to live off of the land, by the plants that grow scarcely in the forest and the wild game that crosses their paths (Dimaline 49).
The Hunger Games is literally about food. Well, it is about class and power and access to food. Katniss, the main protagonist of The Hunger Games, starts out as a hunter and provider for her family (both blood and chosen kin), and saves food for her sister out of habit when presented with extravagant amounts of food on her way to the Capitol. Peeta, her eventual love interest, sparks their relationship as kids when he purposely burns bread so he can “toss it out” but he secretly gives it to her.
In The Road, the Man is always making sure the Boy has enough to eat, regardless if he is starving himself. The narrator says that, “Mostly, he worried about their shoes. That and food. Always food.” (McCormack 17). One of his driving motives is the need for food, and this often drives him into some dangerous situations.
In the real life, the world where COVID-19 is causing us to go to dangerous places (the store). It is motivating people to buy and hoard, thus feeding into panic buying. Meatpacking plants, which are hotbeds for COVID-19 cases in the Midwest, are forced to stay open and push out product. In fact, “experts say there's little risk of a dwindling protein supply because, given the choice between worker safety and keeping meat on grocery shelves, the nation’s slaughterhouses will choose to produce food.” (Bagenstose, Chadde, & Wynne). If that isn’t some dystopian consumerism predictions, I don’t know what is.
See: Coronavirus at meatpacking plants worse than first thought, USA Today investigation finds
It is motivating people to get creative with meal options. We’ve switched to mainly vegetarian meals in response to the lack of meat options at the store, and the amount of cases on the rise at the local Tyson factory. My favorite Youtube chefs from the Bon Appétit Magazine are putting out a series of “pantry meal” videos, in which they detail simple meals that can be made from usual pantry staples as well as what substitutes can be made. It is all about understanding flavor profiles and texture preferences, fyi.
See: Pro Chefs Make 9 Kinds of Pantry Sandwiches
See: Pro Chefs Make 13 Kinds of Pantry Pasta (I suggest the chickpea pasta at 15:30)
Lastly, the pandemic is bringing out the good in people, too. A group of teenagers and college students in Emporia put together the Never Too Young group, and they provide meals twice a week to anyone who asks. Anyone. Never Too Young makes food for people who are in food insecure situations, who are immunocompromised or immobile and cannot go to the store, who have young kids and just couldn’t get a meal plan together, and for those who are honestly just too tired to cook. No questions are asked. Food is just delivered.
See: Never Too Young serves up hope during pandemic
I guess what I am saying is that the possession of food is a privilege, and the giving away of food is an act of love. We can see this in the texts we read/watch. It is a nonverbal way for characters (and us) to show affection. Food is a comfort; food provides strength. Food is not something my anxiety-riddled brain should be making me feel guilty over.
Luckily, I am with a partner who always encourages me to have the last piece of cake (although, I insist on splitting it).
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Works Cited:
Bagenstose, Kyle, Chadde, Sky, & Wynn, Matt. “Coronavirus at meatpacking plants worse than first thought, USA TODAY investigation finds.” USA Today, 22 Apr 2020, https://www.usatoday.com/in-depth/news/investigations/2020/04/22/meat-packing-plants-covid-may-force-choice-worker-health-food/2995232001/. Accessed 30 Apr 2020.
Brooks, Ryann. “Never Too Young serves up hope during pandemic.” The Emporia Gazette, 6 Apr 2020, http://www.emporiagazette.com/covid19/article_a773773e-77a8-11ea-b149-abb4e6252f64.html. Accessed 30 Apr 2020.
Dimaline, Cherie. The Marrow Thieves. Cormorant Books Inc. 2017.
McCarthy, Cormac. The Road. Vintage Books, 2006.
The Hunger Games. Directed by Gary Ross, performances by Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, and Liam Hemsworth, Lionsgate Films, 2012.